More H. L. Mencken Quotes

1. ...no man of genuinely superior intelligence has e ...
   
2. A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, look ...
   
3. A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an ho ...
   
4. A judge is a law student who marks his own examina ...
   
5. A man always remembers his first love with special ...
   
6. A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he ...
   
7. A poet more than thirty years old is simply an ove ...
   
8. A Sunday school is a prison in which children do p ...
   
9. Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ...
   
10. After all, all he did was string together a lot of ...
    
11. Alimony: the ransom the happy pay to the devil. ...
    
12. All men are frauds. The only difference between th ...
    
13. All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulou ...
    
14. All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return ...
    
15. An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses sme ...
    
16. And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never s ...
    
17. Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas mus ...
    
18. Archbishop: a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank sup ...
    
19. Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives ...
    
20. Bachelors know more about women than married men; ...
    
21. College football would be more interesting if the ...
    
22. Congress consists of one third, more or less, scou ...
    
23. Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never en ...
    
24. Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebo ...
    
25. Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to la ...
    
26. Criticism is prejudice made plausible. ...
    
27. Democracy is the art and science of running the ci ...
    
28. Democracy is the theory that the common people kno ...
    
29. Democracy: The worship of jackals by jackasses. ...
    
30. Every decent man is ashamed of the government he l ...
    
31. Every man is thoroughly happy twice in his life: j ...
    
32. Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit ...
    
33. Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belie ...
    
34. For centuries, theologians have been explaining th ...
    
35. For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual inte ...
    
36. Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise ...
    
37. God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, t ...
    
38. Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. ...
    
39. He marries best who puts it off until it is too la ...
    
40. Henry James would have been vastly improved as a n ...
    
41. Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. ...
    
42. Husbands never become good; they merely become pro ...
    
43. I believe that all government is evil, and that tr ...
    
44. I detest converts almost as much as I do missionar ...
    
45. If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - ...
    
46. If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be i ...
    
47. Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once ...
    
48. Immorality: the morality of those who are having a ...
    
49. In the United States, doing good has come to be, l ...
    
50. In this world of sin and sorrow there is always so ...
    
51. It is even harder for the average ape to believe t ...
    
52. It is hard to believe that a man is telling the tr ...
    
53. It is impossible to believe that the same God who ...
    
54. It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven be ...
    
55. It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am st ...
    
56. It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avo ...
    
57. It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sur ...
    
58. Judge: a law student who marks his own papers. ...
    
59. Jury: a group of twelve men who, having lied to th ...
    
60. Lawer: one who protects us against robbery by taki ...
    
61. Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age ...
    
62. Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to s ...
    
63. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from a ...
    
64. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligen ...
    
65. Man is a natural polygamist: he always has one wom ...
    
66. Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the s ...
    
67. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would ...
    
68. Men are the only animals that devote themselves, d ...
    
69. Men have a much better time of it than women. For ...
    
70. Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women ...
    
71. Never let your inferiors do you a favor - it will ...
    
72. New York: A third-rate Babylon. ...
    
73. No married man is genuinely happy if he has to dri ...
    
74. No normal man ever fell in love after thirty when ...
    
75. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelli ...
    
76. Opera in English is, in the main, just about as se ...
    
77. Optimist — The sort of man who marries his sister' ...
    
78. Philosophy consists very largely of one philosophe ...
    
79. Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true ...
    
80. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewh ...
    
81. Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you ...
    
82. Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as y ...
    
83. Strike an average between what a woman thinks of h ...
    
84. Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing t ...
    
85. Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with ...
    
86. The basic fact about human existence is not that i ...
    
87. The best years are the forties; after fifty a man ...
    
88. The capacity of human beings to bore one another s ...
    
89. The chief contribution of Protestantism to human t ...
    
90. The chief value of money lies in the fact that one ...
    
91. The cosmos is a gigantic flywheel making 10,000 re ...
    
92. The cynics are right nine times out of ten. ...
    
93. The first kiss is stolen by the man; the last is b ...
    
94. The government consists of a gang of men exactly l ...
    
95. The most common of all follies is to believe passi ...
    
96. The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar ...
    
97. The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is f ...
    
98. The only really happy folk are married women and s ...
    
99. The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six mon ...
    
100. The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the ...
     
101. The world always makes the assumption that the exp ...
     
102. The worshiper is the father of the gods. ...
     
103. Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable i ...
     
104. There comes a time when a man must spit on his han ...
     
105. There is always an easy solution to every human pr ...
     
106. Those who can -- do. Those who can't -- teach. ...
     
107. To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpet ...
     
108. To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. Bu ...
     
109. Under democracy, one party always devotes its chie ...
     
110. Unquestionably, there is progress. The average Ame ...
     
111. War will never cease until babies begin to come in ...
     
112. We are here and it is now. Further than that all h ...
     
113. We must respect the other fellow's religion,but on ...
     
114. Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred ...
     
115. When women kiss, it always reminds me of prizefigh ...
     
116. Wife: a former sweetheart. ...
     
117. Wife: one who is sorry she did it, but would undou ...