More Woody Allen Quotes

1. A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DOE
   
   Unbearably lov ...
   
2. As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- pr ...
   
3. At the opera in Milan with my daughter and me, Nee ...
   
4. Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in ...
   
5. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a ...
   
6. Doing abominations is against the law, particularl ...
   
7. Dying is one of the few things that can be done as ...
   
8. Eighty percent of success is showing up. ...
   
9. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dr ...
   
10. Eternity is a long time, especially towards the en ...
    
11. For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation ...
    
12. For the first year of marriage I had basically a b ...
    
13. His lack of education is more than compensated for ...
    
14. How can I believe in God when only last week I got ...
    
15. How is it possible to find meaning in a finite wor ...
    
16. How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. ...
    
17. I am an only child. I have one sister. ...
    
18. I am at two with nature. ...
    
19. I am at two with nature. ...
    
20. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes ...
    
21. I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for m ...
    
22. I believe there is something out there watching us ...
    
23. I call that mind free which jealously guards its i ...
    
24. I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start gettin ...
    
25. I don't believe in the after life, although I am b ...
    
26. I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live ...
    
27. I don't want to achieve immortality through my wor ...
    
28. I failed to make the chess team because of my heig ...
    
29. I had a terrible education. I attended a school fo ...
    
30. I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car ...
    
31. I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a ne ...
    
32. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. ...
    
33. I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. ...
    
34. I think you should defend to the death their right ...
    
35. I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Pe ...
    
36. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the an ...
    
37. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the me ...
    
38. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not s ...
    
39. I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the uni ...
    
40. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be the ...
    
41. I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfa ...
    
42. I've never been an intellectual but I have this lo ...
    
43. If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think ...
    
44. If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing ...
    
45. If my films make one more person miserable, I'll f ...
    
46. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like ma ...
    
47. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your futur ...
    
48. If you're not failing every now and again, it's a ...
    
49. In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage ...
    
50. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the deci ...
    
51. Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But ...
    
52. Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, sp ...
    
53. Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Nei ...
    
54. Is sex dirty? Only if you do it right. ...
    
55. It is impossible to experience one's death objecti ...
    
56. It is impossible to travel faster than the speed o ...
    
57. It is no secret that organized crime in America ta ...
    
58. It seemed the world was divided into good and bad ...
    
59. It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want ...
    
60. Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad televisi ...
    
61. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserabl ...
    
62. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering ...
    
63. Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for ...
    
64. Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, ...
    
65. Money is better than poverty, if only for financia ...
    
66. More than any other time in history, mankind faces ...
    
67. Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest o ...
    
68. My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? ...
    
69. My one regret in life is that I am not someone els ...
    
70. Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumbe ...
    
71. Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the m ...
    
72. On the plus side, death is one of the few things t ...
    
73. Organized crime in America takes in over forty bil ...
    
74. Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. ...
    
75. Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. ...
    
76. Should I marry W. Not if she won't tell me the oth ...
    
77. Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness ...
    
78. The food here is terrible, and the portions are to ...
    
79. The good people sleep much better at night than th ...
    
80. The government is unresponsive to the needs of the ...
    
81. The great roe is a mythological beast with the hea ...
    
82. The lion and the calf shall lie down together but ...
    
83. The talent for being happy is appreciating and lik ...
    
84. The wicked at heart probably know something. ...
    
85. There are three rings involved with marriage. The ...
    
86. There are worse things in life than death. Have yo ...
    
87. Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And ...
    
88. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from ha ...
    
89. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Oppos ...
    
90. Tradition is the illusion of permanance. ...
    
91. We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island ...
    
92. What if everything is an illusion and nothing exis ...
    
93. What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's ...
    
94. When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics ...
    
95. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into acti ...
    
96. When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought the ...
    
97. When we played softball, I'd steal second base, fe ...
    
98. Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine ...
    
99. Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that k ...
    
100. Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? ...
     
101. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all th ...