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Famous College Quotes - Famous Quotes about College



80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
- Third Law of Applied Terror
***
A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.
- Robert Ingersoll
***
Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college." Now, I'm gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. "If it weren't for my horse..." as in, giddyup, giddyup, let's go — "I wouldn't have spent that year in college," which is a degree-granting institution. Don't think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!
- Lewis Black
***
Bryn Mawr had done what a four-year dose of liberal education was designed to do: unfit her for eighty per cent of useful work of the world.
- Toni Morrison
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College isn't the place to go for ideas.
- Helen Keller
***
Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.
- Bob Dylan
***
Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
- Fourth Law of Applied Terror
***
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.
- Clive James
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)
- Woody Allen
***
If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
- Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror
***
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
- Fifth Law of Applied Terror
***
In point of substantial merit, the law school belongs in the modern university no more than a school of fencing and dancing.
- Thorstein Veblen
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No period of my life has been one of such unmixed happiness as the four years which have been spent within college walls.
- Horatio Alger
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Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates....
- A. Lawrence Lowell
***
On a good day, I view the job [of University president] as directing an orchestra. On the dark days, it is more like that of a clutch—engaging the engine to effect forward motion, while taking greater friction.
- A. Bartlett Giamatti
***
The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
- Second Law of Applied Terror
***
The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
- Corollary to the Fourth Law of Applied Terror
***
They are so afraid we shall break down, and you know the reputation of the college is at stake, for the question is, can girls get a college degree without injuring their health.
- Ellen Swallow Richards
***
To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States.
- George W. Bush
***
When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.
- First Law of Applied Terror
***
You can lead a boy to college but you can't make him think.
- Elbert Hubbard
***

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