Famous Quotes & Sayings Quote Search Top Quote Sites Links
Famous Birthday Quotes Famous Business Quotes Famous Education Quotes Famous Friendship Quotes Famous Leadership Quotes Famous Life Quotes
Famous Love Quotes Famous Military Quotes Famous Movie Quotes Famous Music Quotes Famous Sports Quotes Famous Success Quotes
Muhammad Ali Quotes Winston Churchill Quotes Confucius Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Benjamin Franklin Quotes Paris Hilton Quotes
Michael Jordan Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Vince Lombardi Quotes Martin Luther King Quotes Marilyn Monroe Quotes Oscar Wilde Quotes
Famous Quotes - Famous Sayings
Famous Quotes & Famous Sayings
Famous Quotes by Author:   A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Famous Quotes by Subject:  A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

George Carlin Quotes - Famous Quotes by George Carlin


Born: 1937-05-12
Died: 2008-06-22

George Carlin Biography

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Marriage ]
***
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Hell ]
***
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
- George Carlin
***
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Atheist ]
***
Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
- George Carlin
***
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
- George Carlin
***
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Food ] [ Money ]
***
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
- George Carlin
***
Hobbies cost money but interests are free.
- George Carlin
***
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Honesty ]
***
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. -- (Brain Droppings, 1997)
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Florida ]
***
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
***
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
- George Carlin
***
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Christian ] [ Bible ]
***
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
- George Carlin
***
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
- George Carlin
***
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. -- (Brain Droppings, 1997)
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Sales ]
***
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
- George Carlin
***
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Suicide ]
***
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Winning ]
***
Keep thy religion to thyself.
- George Carlin
***
Life.....is a series of dogs.
- George Carlin
***
No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Winning ]
***
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
- George Carlin
***
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984)
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Time ]
***
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
***
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Iím just not close enough to get the job done."
- George Carlin
***
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
- George Carlin
***
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
- George Carlin
***
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
***
Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
- George Carlin
***
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to us, do they
- George Carlin
***
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
- George Carlin
***
What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.
- George Carlin
More quotations on: [ Motivation ]
***
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
- George Carlin
***
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
- George Carlin
***
You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.
- George Carlin
***

Popular Famous Quotes Categories

Here is a small sampling of our famous quotes topics:
Famous Anger Quotes
Famous Art Quotes
Famous Baseball Quotes
Famous Basketball Quotes
Famous Birthday Quotes
Famous Business Quotes
Famous Change Quotes
Famous Christian Quotes
Famous Computer Quotes
Famous Death Quotes
Famous Dream Quotes
Famous Education Quotes
Famous Equality Quotes
Famous Experience Quotes
Famous Faith Quotes
Famous Football Quotes
Famous Forgiving Quotes
Famous Friendship Quotes
Famous Golf Quotes
Famous Government Quotes
Famous Graduation Quotes
Famous History Quotes
Famous Imagination Quotes
Famous Intellect Quotes
Famous Leadership Quotes
Famous Life Quotes
Famous Love Quotes
Famous Marriage Quotes
Famous Military Quotes
Famous Money Quotes
Famous Movie Quotes
Famous Music Quotes
Famous Nature Quotes
Famous Old Age Quotes
Famous Patriotic Quotes
Famous Peace Quotes
Famous Poetry Quotes
Famous Philosophy Quotes
Famous Political Quotes
Famous Religion Quotes
Famous Science Quotes
Famous Sports Quotes
Famous Star Wars Quotes
Famous Success Quotes
Famous Teacher Quotes
Famous Technology Quotes
Famous Time Quotes
Famous Truth Quotes
Famous War Quotes
Famous Wisdom Quotes
Famous Women Quotes
Famous Work Quotes

Famous Quotes by Popular People

Select our famous quotes by these famous people:
Douglas Adams Quotes
Alexander The Great Quotes
Muhammad Ali Quotes
Maya Angelou Quotes
Aristotle Quotes
Jane Austen Quotes
Yogi Berra Quotes
Ambrose Bierce< Quotes/A>
Lewis Black Quotes
Erma Bombeck Quotes
Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes
James Brown Quotes
Warren Buffet Quotes
George W.Bush Quotes
Julius Caesar Quotes
Al Capone Quotes
George Carlin Quotes
George Washington Carver Quotes
Johnny Cash Quotes
Gilbert K.Chesterton Quotes
Winston Churchill Quotes
Bill Clinton Quotes
Hillary Clinton Quotes
Confucius Quotes
Dane Cook Quotes
Bill Cosby Quotes
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Johnny Depp Quotes
Charles Dickens Quotes
Walt Disney Quotes
Frederick Douglass Quotes
Thomas Edison Quotes
Albert Einstein Quotes
Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes
Gerald Ford Quotes
Anne Frank Quotes
Benjamin Franklin Quotes
Mahatma Gandhi Quotes
Bill Gates Quotes
Jimi Hendrix Quotes
Audrey Hepburn Quotes
Paris Hilton Quotes
Adolf Hitler Quotes
Homer Quotes
Langston Hughes Quotes
Saddam Hussein Quotes
Thomas Jefferson Quotes
Angelina Jolie Quotes
Michael Jordan Quotes
Helen Keller Quotes
John F. Kennedy Quotes
Martin Luther King Quotes
Lao-tzu
Bruce Lee Quotes
Leonardo Da Vinci
C.S. Lewis Quotes
Abraham Lincoln Quotes
Vince Lombardi
Martin Luther Quotes
Nelson Mandela Quotes
Groucho Marx Quotes
Karl Marx Quotes
H. L. Mencken Quotes
Marilyn Monroe Quotes
Mother Teresa
Isaac Newton
Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes
Barack Obama Quotes
Dorothy Parker Quotes
Dolly Parton Quotes
George S. Patton Quotes
Plato Quotes
Edgar Allan Poe Quotes
Elvis Presley Quotes
Ronald Reagan Quotes
Jackie Robinson Quotes
Chris Rock Quotes
Will Rogers Quotes
Theodore Roosevelt Quotes
Adam Sandler Quotes
Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
William Shakespeare Quotes
George Bernard Shaw Quotes
Will Smith
Socrates Quotes
Britney Spears Quotes
John Steinbeck Quotes
Henry David Thoreau Quotes
Mark Twain Quotes
Voltaire Quotes
Andy Warhol Quotes
George Washington Quotes
John Wayne Quotes
Oscar Wilde Quotes
Robin Williams Quotes
Oprah Winfrey Quotes
Tiger Woods Quotes
Steven Wright Quotes
Malcolm X




It is believed that all material on this web site is in the public domain.
This web site Copyright © 2002-2008 By Steven J. Hayes.All rights reserved.
Basic Quotations is part of the 21st Century Basics family of sites.
Privacy Statement

Basics 4 Life Topsites