Roseanne Barr Quotes - Famous Quotes by Roseanne Barr
Born: 1952-11-03
Died: 0000-00-00
Roseanne Barr Biography
A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Men ] ***
Excuse the mess but we live here.
- Roseanne Barr
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Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Children ] ***
I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
- Roseanne Barr
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I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people...that's why I don't like any of them.
- Roseanne Barr
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I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.
- Roseanne Barr
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Housekeeping ] ***
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open."
- Roseanne Barr
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It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Fat ] ***
Know how to do anything - I’m a mom.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Mother ] ***
Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Men ] [ Driving ] ***
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Television ] ***
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ War ] ***
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Marriage ] ***
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Marriage ] ***
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Men ] ***
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Women ] [ Power ] ***
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Women ] [ Mother ] ***
When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Children ] [ Marriage ] ***
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Women ] [ PMS ] ***
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
- Roseanne Barr
More quotations on: [ Women ] [ Diet ] ***
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