Will Rogers Quotes - Famous Quotes by Will Rogers
Born: 1879-11-04
Died: 1935-08-15
Will Rogers Biography
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
- Will Rogers
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Always drink upstream from the herd.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Leadership ] ***
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Economics ] ***
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
- Will Rogers
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An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
- Will Rogers
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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
- Will Rogers
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Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
- Will Rogers
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Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Communism ] ***
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
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Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Business ] ***
Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.
- Will Rogers
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Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
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Every man is ignorant - just on different subjects.
- Will Rogers
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Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Women ] [ Men ] ***
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers
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Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Political ] [ Comedy ] ***
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Humor ] ***
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Life ] ***
Heroing is one of the shortest lived professions there is. (The Will Rogers Book, 1961)
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Hero ] ***
I bet you if I had met him Trotsky and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
- Will Rogers
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I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.
- Will Rogers
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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Humor ] [ Government ] ***
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
- Will Rogers
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I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countries, for I have a theory that it's their country and they got a right to run it like they want to.
- Will Rogers
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I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
- Will Rogers
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I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Political ] ***
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers
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If any of us had a child that we thought was as bad as we know we are, we would have cause to start to worry.
- Will Rogers
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If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week.
- Will Rogers
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Idiot ] [ Stupidity ] ***
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Business ] ***
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Business ] ***
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
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Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.
- Will Rogers
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Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Listening ] [ Silence ] ***
Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.
- Will Rogers
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Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
- Will Rogers
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
- Will Rogers
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On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
- Will Rogers
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Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
- Will Rogers
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Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.
- Will Rogers
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People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Lawyer ] ***
People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
- Will Rogers
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Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.
- Will Rogers
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Politics is applesauce.
- Will Rogers
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Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
- Will Rogers
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See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails
- Will Rogers
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So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers
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Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- Will Rogers
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The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
- Will Rogers
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The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
- Will Rogers
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The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.
- Will Rogers
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The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.
- Will Rogers
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The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President'
- Will Rogers
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The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.
- Will Rogers
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The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
- Will Rogers
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The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
- Will Rogers
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The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Government ] ***
There is good news from Washington today. Congress is deadlocked and can't act.
- Will Rogers
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There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.
- Will Rogers
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There ought to be one day -- just one -- where there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Political ] ***
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Political ] [ Humor ] [ Government ] ***
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Women ] ***
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
- Will Rogers
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We are all here for a spell get all the good laughs you can.
- Will Rogers
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We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Hero ] ***
We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.
- Will Rogers
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We have the best Congress money can buy.
- Will Rogers
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Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.
- Will Rogers
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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
- Will Rogers
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Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Government ] ***
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.
- Will Rogers
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You can't say civilization isn't advancing; in every war they kill you in a new way.
- Will Rogers
More quotations on: [ Civilization ] ***
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers
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