Ambrose Bierce Quotes - Famous Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842-06-24
Died: 1914-01-01
Ambrose Bierce Biography
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Money ] ***
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Advice: the smallest current coin.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Age--that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Old Age ] ***
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Philosophy ] ***
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Boredom ] ***
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Food ] [ Wisdom ] ***
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Problem ] ***
Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instruction.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
- Ambrose Bierce
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Business ] ***
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Ego ] ***
Faith Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Genius - To know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
- Ambrose Bierce
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Ambrose Bierce
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Intellect ] [ Government ] ***
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Art ] ***
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Photography ] ***
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Politeness ] [ Hypocrisy ] ***
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Political ] ***
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Quotation ] ***
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Anger ] ***
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
- Ambrose Bierce
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
- Ambrose Bierce
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Book ] ***
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
- Ambrose Bierce
More quotations on: [ Business ] ***
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
- Ambrose Bierce
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There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
- Ambrose Bierce
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There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.
- Ambrose Bierce
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This ONLY is denied God The power to undo the past.
- Ambrose Bierce
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To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
- Ambrose Bierce
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