Johnny Carson Quotes - Famous Quotes by Johnny Carson
Born: 1925-10-23
Died: 2005-01-23
Johnny Carson Biography
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
- Johnny Carson
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For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Death ] ***
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Dentist ] ***
I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
- Johnny Carson, people magazine special issue
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I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
- Johnny Carson
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson
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If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
- Johnny Carson
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Marriage ] ***
In all honesty, Johnny, we are often at the mercy of the White House for the news we report. Frequently, we simply repeat verbatim what the White House tells us.
- Connie Chung to Johnny Carson
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Christmas ] [ Mail ] ***
My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
- Johnny Carson
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Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair.
- Johnny Carson
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
- Johnny Carson
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Only lie about the future.
- Johnny Carson
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The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
- Johnny Carson
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Food ] [ Christmas ] [ Gift ] ***
Welcome to the Academy Awards, a glittering two hours of entertainment, spread out over four hours. For those of you taping this on Betamax, you're under arrest. -- (at the 1979 Oscars®)
- Johnny Carson
More quotations on: [ Movie ] ***
Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will.
- Johnny Carson, Playboy Interview - December 1967
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