Andy Rooney Quotes - Famous Quotes by Andy Rooney
Born: 1919-01-14
Died: 0000-00-00
Andy Rooney Biography
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Equality ] ***
As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
- Andy Rooney
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Computer ] ***
Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Work ] ***
I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Old Age ] ***
I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Food ] ***
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
- Andy Rooney
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Dog ] ***
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
- Andy Rooney
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Truth ] ***
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Teacher ] ***
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ News ] ***
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
- Andy Rooney
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ George Bush ] [ Tax ] ***
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- Andy Rooney
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Army ] ***
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Dog ] ***
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
- Andy Rooney
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The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Government ] ***
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Political ] ***
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Music ] ***
There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Coffee ] ***
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Mistake ] ***
We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week, but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
- Andy Rooney
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
- Andy Rooney
More quotations on: [ Food ] ***
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